20 Minute Lifetime

After reading several blogs on my classmates personal experiences or ideas on the 20 minute lifetime I have come to the conclusion that many of the deal with dark subject matter.

I have not experienced the 20 minute lifetime myself, or at least I don’t remember it which means it probably passed me by without my notice, but in reading others blogs I noticed that most experiences surrounded a tragedy. Most notably, and the one I have heard most frequently was the car crash.

I have heard many people say “I saw my life flash before my eyes,” and what does that mean really and truly. Having never experienced anything like a car crash I was never sure, but after hearing about the 20 minute lifetime perhaps I can make a jab at it.

People often in traumatic situations experience a moment when all that is around them seems to go into a slow motion sequence, and a moment can seem like an eternity. They speak of seeing scenes from their life, or their entire life, flash before their eyes. Recalling whole scenes from their childhood and beyond. Perhaps even things they believe they didn’t even remember.

But this instance is a reliving of their lives all over again, and not a different life they are unfamiliar with, but their present and past. You never hear really of people coming out of an accident saying “I experienced another life” it is always “MY life flashed before my eyes.”

Perhaps this is an event that not really let’s us experience a completely new lifetime in a moment, but is reminding us of what there is left to be had in the life we are in. A kind of déjà vu that wakes us up to our reality. That may be why when people experience such an event their lives are changed forever. They are not waiting for life to begin because it already has. It is 20 minutes of OUR lifetime and not another that we will experience at a different time.

We may all be caught in the myth of the eternal return, experiencing our lives again and again and seeing them for the first time. But it is the realization of the time and life we are in that is important to what we make of our lives to come.

20 Minute Lifetime in Four Quartets

"Home is where on starts from. As we grow older
The world becomes stranger, the pattern more complicated
Of dead and living. Not the intense moment
Isolated, with no before and after,
But a lifetime burning in every moment
And not the lifetime of one man only
But of old stones that cannot be deciphered.
There is a time for the evening under lamplight
(The evening with the photograph album).
Love is most nearly itself
When here and now cease to matter."

East Coker Section V (31)

Allusions of Eliot

So I read the Four Quartets this past weekend and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Almost every corner is turned down indicating passages and sections I loved.

One of the references that was easy for me to spot was in Little Gidding Section IV, and the reference to Hercules and Deianira. I only know this because it was the story from Ovid I had to present in Classical Lit. with Dr. Sexson. Eliot’s two stanzas summed up an entire tale that Ovid wrote in many more. Once again Ovid is emerging in this class as a reference and allusion for many to use.

The story is about the love of one person for another, a love that is all consuming. A fire that consumes and redeems us. Eliot recognizes that love is a torment, but it is also the thing that saves us in the end. Hercules is consumed in a “pyre”, both his shirt and of his own making, and is redeemed in his metamorphosis into a constellation. As Eliot writes, “The only hope, or else despair/Lies in the choice of pyre or pyre-/To be redeemed from fire by fire” (57).

One of my other favorite references that Eliot made was to the children in the trees. I have not been able to look more into this idea but I plan to. The lines that include this idea are as follows:

“Go, said the bird, for the leaves were full of children,/Hidden excitedly, containing laughter” (15).

“Sudden in a shaft of sunlight/ Even while the dust moves/There rises the hidden laughter/Of children in the foliage…” (20).

“The voice of the hidden waterfall/And the children in the apple-tree/Not-known, because not looked for/But heard, half-heard, in the stillness/Between two waves of the sea” (59).

I am not sure why these passages strike me so, but they stay with me even after I have finished reading. There are also so many more passages, but I will not fill this blog with lines I love, or at least try not to!

A Joycean Sighting

So waiting for class to begin on Friday last week Bizz and I were discussing Finnegans Wake before an exam. We were wondering how people in class were finding themselves within the maze of Joyce’s masterpiece. I have been reading Finnegans Wake but it has not been a speedy process and thought I would never find myself before the end if the semester.

In turn while sitting in Reid I just began to open to random pages and looking for references to myself or anything that related to me. Within the first ten minutes I found myself on page 221, and it even wasn’t just a reference but even my full first name. Joyce even spelled it right, but then again he would because the reference for him would most likely be Rachel in the Bible.

The section goes as follows:

“KATE (Miss Rachel Lea Varian, she tells forkings for baschfellors, under purdah of card palmer teaput tosspot Madam d’Elta, during the pawses), kook-and-dishdrudge, whitch believes wanthingthats, whouse be the churchyard or whorts up the aasgaars, the show must go on.”

I have not read this far into Finnegans Wake and do not understand the context completely, but I will make it there at some point! I did understand, perhaps, from the section though that Miss Rachel is a fortuneteller. She tells fortunes (“tells forkings“), using tarot cards, reading palms and tea leaves (“purdah of card palmer teaput“). Besides the fact that my name is explicitly used, it is strange because when I was in middle school I was interested in such things. I used to make my friends at sleepovers do séances, I kind of freaked them out most times with the Ouija board though so we didn't accomplish much!

Once again as stated in class we are all in Finnegans Wake as long as we are paying attention!

Lists Of My Mind

Hi my name is Rachel and I am an obsessive list maker.

Ever since I was little I have loved making lists, from everything from my daily schedule, to chores to accomplish and even my “life plan.” I know you can’t really have a plan, but I have had one starting in eighth grade that details everything I want to accomplish in the future, especially my career. I won’t go into details, but you should know that it is VERY specific, and why yes I am slightly OCD as well. I think being OC and making lists kind of go hand in hand. So when Dr. Sexson gave us the assignment to make a list of everything in one room of our house I was thrilled!

The following list goes counter clockwise around my room when you are in the bed.

Side table
-journal
-lamp
-picture of small Portuguese girl I took in Lisbon and love!
-candles
-decorative boxes
-record player
-about 250 albums
-about 100 CDs
-too many movies to count (VHS and DVD. I refuse to part with my VHS player!)
Basket on floor
-Bon Appetite
-The New Yorker
-The only two magazines I have subscriptions to since I was 15. So there’s a lot of them!
Desk
-Edward Gorey Christmas cards
-bowl of candy (All bought at the Phillipsburg candy store!)
-laptop
-printer
-bills
-file
-CLEP exam review materials
-GRE materials
-printer paper
-information on grad school(s) applying to
Lamp
Cat scratching post
Copy of Caravaggio’s, The Calling of Saint. Matthew (One of my favorite painters! Especially his Biblical paintings. Renaissance painters capture the human hand magnificently.)
Stack of books for classes this semester
Bookcase
-top shelf contains Clive Barker, Persepolis, Kundera, Nabokov, Dickens, James Baldwin, Scottish Short Stories, Proust, Jhumpa Lahiri, Bronte, Vonnegut and more.
-next shelf contains Dreiser, Gogol, Wells, Marlowe, Edward Gorey, Tim Burton and more.
-third shelf contains Proust, C.S. Lewis, Goethe, Byatt, Oates, Ballard, Plath, Maugham, Camus, Roth, Joyce, Potok, Folwes, Orwell, Machiavelli and more.
-forth shelf contains Flannery O’Connor, Thomas Mann, Rand, Helprin, Gibran, Stoker, Lawrence, Goethe and more.
Chest of Drawers (on top The Flowers of Evil by Baudelaire and Picnic, Lightning by Collins)
Hanging on wall two antique French posters
Old Italian perfume box from manufacturer with 25 samples of perfumes all different
Door
Evening in the Park ( a copper etching but I can’t remember the artist, he lives in Seattle.)
Door to bathroom
Sculpture for wall that holds candles
Bookcase
-on top book with all The New Yorker cartoons, my stuffed sheep named Babaee(sp?),which is Farsi for sheep.
-next down are books from past classes, several other books by Edward Gorey, poetry by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Ovid, Capote, Betty Smith, Chopin, Tom Robbins, Mildred Walker and more.
-All other shelves books from past classes and collections of poetry and famous love letters between authors and those they love (poetry includes the Romantics, Langston Hughes, ect.)
Copy of Andrew Wyeth’s Master Bedroom hangs over my bed

So I know it’s long, but once I start I can’t stop. So enjoy if you have the patience!

Groundhog Day

So not much happened on my Groundhog Day because I was home sick, very exciting I know. I am grateful that that will not be the day that I get to live over and over again. Mostly I slept and watched movies. The movies were the high point of my day and consisted mostly of Bridget Jones (both of them), Woody Allen films (Annie Hall, Scoop and Match Point) and the series called The Power of Art (artists watched included Caravaggio, Bernini, Van Gogh and Turner, but there are more then that).

I am a movie fiend and never get tried of laying on my couch and watching them for hours on end. I am sure that I could have found something in these movies to apply to class, or something that reminded me of class, but my fevered delirium was taking over and I was not able to focus that day.

So while Dr. Sexson did not think any of the other blogs captured what he was looking for in our Groundhogs Day, mine surely was the worst of them all. At least others in class did something. I just was playing dead for most of the day and trying to recover from some weird 24 hour flu like thing.

Well at least that day is over, and if I am lucky I will never have to spend all of eternity reliving the Groundhogs Day I was sick again and again! I will pick some other day to pay extra close attention to later this semester, just to make up for being sick.

Finnegans Wake and The Skin of Our Teeth

So I was going to do this blog after reading The Skin of Our Teeth for the second time, but had been sick all day and just decided to go to sleep last night. I enjoyed The Skin of Our Teeth the second time around and took more from it then I did the first time. But like Dr. Sexson said in his article, reading Joyce, and perhaps even this play by Wilder, is not about the destination or any particular discoveries it is about the journey itself.

The three connections that I wanted to blog about between Finnegans Wake and The Skin of Our Teeth are as follows:

1. Obviously the Myth of the Eternal Return is in both. From the last line in Finnegans Wake returning to begin the first, and Sabina's last line matching her first. Also the theme of destruction and rebirth that continues throughout the work including, the iceberg, flood and impending war.

2. Throughout both works there is a mixing of reality and fantasy. In Joyce it is the dream-like state that his Book of the Night takes place in, and Wilder's continually changing ideas of time and place throughout the work the audience is never quite sure where they are.

3. Lastly the families in both works in a sense mirror each other. Mother, Father, Daughter and the two sons (Well that is before Cain killed Abel!).

The above poster is one of the original productions directed by Elia Kazan.